DISPERSION OF LIGHT
Native of Nowhere Book 3

She fights for the freedom of her people. He fights for hers.

The stakes are high, the price even higher, and Dantor’s demands are clear: if Kit continues to defy him, he’ll come for the blood of the man he hates more than any other in the galaxy—her beloved Captain.

“There’s no stopping this… is there?” Kit whispered.

“I’m afraid not…” Dantor replied, “…My Lady.”

Even now, with her anger and defiance, Dantor knew he had to have her. She was more his equal now than she had ever been before, and it intoxicated him to think that—if he could just play his cards right—he could make her stay by his side, willingly. His fingers twitched, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and taking her back right then and there.

—

Kit’s mission to restore her lost home world prompts her to seek allies wherever she can find them, even within the galaxy’s Central Government. But Dantor’s relentless pursuit threatens to follow her from the core worlds to the far reaches of space, and this time he’s not alone.

Kit struggles to fulfill her role as Lucarn Commander, a position that threatens to drive a wedge in between her and the Captain, and the conflict between Malcolm and Rian intensifies. Balancing interactions between her distrustful people and the human crew proves more challenging than the young Grey could ever have anticipated.

The strain leads the crew to a point of decision, and Kit asks Malcolm to leave her. She knows she must face her former master head on if there’s to be any hope of breaking free from him once and for all—she can only pray that their defenses hold against his invasion force, and keep the ones she loves safe from his murderous rage…

Can the Lucarn recover from decades of devastation and the near loss of their most powerful clan House?

Will Kit find her balance and step into her power, or will she lose herself—and the man she loves—to one final, desperate wager?

—

Book 3: Dispersion of Light brings the Native of Nowhere trilogy to its explosive, climactic end. If you like deep, complex relationships, themes of trust and trauma recovery, stepping into your unique power, and a satisfying culmination of the slow burn romantic sub-plot (no spice), wrapped in the intrigue of interspecies politics, you’ll want to binge this series. Pick up all 3 titles and cancel your weekend plans.

—

Chapter One

Kit looked up at the night sky. Usually, she would lay back, humming songs she had made up in her head, and count the constellations that she could pick out. Her family lived on the Highest Landing, and as she fell asleep each night the view of the heavens would be further imprinted onto her heart.

But tonight, the beautiful blush pink and violet glow of the nebula that enveloped their little star system was blotted out by frightful black and gray ships, firing indiscriminately upon the surface, and sending smaller ships and transports down to scoop up anyone and everyone they could.

Kit was so terrified she couldn’t think, she couldn’t even move. Her home was on fire and there was nowhere to go. All she could do was sit on her bed, clutch her favorite blue doll to her chest, and whimper.

“Galen!” she heard her mother cry out, but she couldn’t see where she was, “The children!”

“I know, Chanté, I’ve got them. We have to go, now!”

Kit felt her father lift her up in his strong arms, and run urgently away from the center section of the landing, which was entirely engulfed in flames. The gigantic trees that the city was built upon swayed and teetered with the impact of cannon fire.

Suddenly, the platform beneath them shook, and her father stumbled, almost dropping her. Behind him she could see the topmost section of the landing break apart in an explosion that split the limb the Command House was built on. It swayed left, then snapped with a loud crack, and the House fell out of sight, crashing down onto the lower landings.

“Galen!” The desperation Kit heard in her mother’s voice pierced her heart, and she sobbed loudly as tears streamed down her gritty face.

“It’ll be alright, Kitania. Shhhhhh, shhhhhh…” her father told her, keeping his voice low and soothing while he stroked her hair and held onto her, but Kit was too upset to calm down. She wanted her mother, and she wanted the terrible noise that threatened and surrounded her to stop.

“Kiyl! Your sister!” Quickly, Galen passed Kit to her older brother, urging them to the ship that was docked on the edge of the platform behind their home. In the confusion, she dropped her doll and clung tightly to her brother’s neck.

“Where’s mama?” Kiyl asked frantically, looking all around them. He couldn’t see his mother anywhere. “We can’t leave without her!”

“The landing is breaking apart. I have to go and get her.”

“I’ll come with you-”

“NO!” Galen insisted, his voice full of anxiety, and he held Kiyl back with a firm hand on his shoulder. Both of their bodies glowed, a pale blue gray against the backdrop of the spreading fire and billowing smoke. Reining in his emotions, Galen forced the light emanating from his form to go out and his tone to calm, “I can get to her myself. I need you to take care of your sister. Can you do that for me?”

Kiyl held onto his father, choking back tears, “Yes, papa… I can.” Kit held on tighter and buried her face in her brother’s neck. She didn’t want to see any more, it was all too frightening.

“I love you.” Galen kissed his son on the forehead, and then quickly kissed Kit on the top of her head while she kept her eyes covered. “Now you get on that ship, and the two of you get to safety. Everything is already locked in, just let the autopilot do the work. Emergency rations should keep you both going for two weeks, so hunker down at the rendezvous point, just like we rehearsed. Make sure the ship is hidden, keep the lights off, and stay out of sight. Your mother and I will meet you there.”

“But, papa, how…?” Kiyl didn’t want to go without them, but he knew he was going to have to be brave, for Kit’s sake. She was so small and so scared, she needed him.

“I’ll get her out with the House Guard. I don’t know how long it will take us to meet up, but we will find you. Keep the homing signal active on our private channel so that we can track you. Now go!”

Without another word, Galen turned and ran back towards the chaos. He hadn’t heard Chanté’s voice for a few minutes now and he was getting desperate. As long as the children got away, they could catch up with them, but only if he could find her and get her to another ship with the Guard. Hopefully there were enough Beryls to assist in the evacuation, but their home was located at the southern tip of the landing, and they would have to carefully make their way around areas that had collapsed onto the landing below, or were in danger of collapsing.

Kiyl stood there, watching his father rush off back towards their home, ducking in between downed beams and debris that had fallen from the violent shaking caused by the attack on the Command House. For a moment, he contemplated waiting on the ship for them instead of leaving as he’d been instructed. The Guard House was on the northern side of the landing where most of the heavy attacks seemed to be concentrated, now that Command was gone, and it would be much more dangerous to head that way than returning to their own private vessel.

While he hesitated, he felt Kit’s thin arms trembling around his neck. She was still crying, and her tears were trickling down his collar bone along with his sweat from the heat of the flames. Steeling himself to the situation, he held her tighter and turned around, heading for their family’s small ship. He had promised his father that he would take charge, so Kiyl concentrated on their exit plan and his sister. He had a responsibility to keep her safe until they could be reunited, and Kiyl prayed that his parents would be able to find a way out themselves.

Hurriedly, he got Kit onto their ship and strapped into her seat. Despite the fear gripping his heart, he did his best to speak reassuringly, “Everything’s going to be alright, Kit. You just be brave, and everything will be alright, okay?” He nodded down at the distraught girl, and she timorously nodded back at him. She could see how afraid he was, but he was doing his best to keep the panic from his face and calm her down, so she tried to stop crying and be brave, like her big brother.

Concentrating on one thing at a time, Kiyl strapped himself in, then turned his attention to the ship’s controls. He didn’t have much experience flying, but he had learned how to use the autopilot. His family had drills for this very scenario, and they thought they were as prepared as they could be. Several options had been pre-programmed into the navi computer, but the first two just weren’t going to be enough—the invasion force was too big, so they couldn’t flee to another location on the planet, and they couldn’t make it through the cloud that surrounded their star system without being caught by the human ships.

Galen had chosen option three: their course would take them to the third planet in the Red Star system, Crysolis, and would land in a location they had already scouted out for this purpose. Landing on the first planet was off limits for reasons Kiyl didn’t understand, and the fourth was too small and bare, with no place to hide a ship and wait out an invasion.

Crysolis wasn’t an inhabitable planet, and they would have to remain on the ship the entire time, but it was the one of the four to have the highest concentration of the crystals that were native to the star system, and there were clusters on the surface large enough to block a small ship from view. It could be reached relatively quickly as well, thus minimizing the time they’d be visible to anyone who might possibly be monitoring the area around Lucar. If they could make it off of their home world without being spotted, they could be landed and hidden within an hour.

As they gained altitude, Kit could see the landing getting smaller beneath them. Although the entire city was in flames, it looked like the Highest Landing had been specifically targeted by the cannon fire, while the other landings were being raided. It didn’t look like their father would be able to reach the part of their home that their mother most likely was—if she had gotten trapped by debris, he would have a hard time finding her.

Suddenly, another blast hit their home, right where the outdoor platform beds were that Kit and her brother slept on during the summer months. If they hadn’t left, they would have been killed.

“Kiyl…” Kit squeaked out, “Do you see papa?” She looked up at her brother, stunned to see tears rolling down his cheeks, and it frightened her even more. He never cried.

Kiyl knew they were gone… That blast had been right where their father was headed, and it was too big of a hit for him to have survived. The only part of their house that was still intact was the front entrance. Wherever it was that their mother was trapped, it had been utterly destroyed. He could also see that the House Guard compound was on fire. There probably weren’t any ships left down on the landing.

A dull realization hit the young man square in the chest as he stared down at his home: he and Kit were alone now, and he didn’t know what to do.

As their small ship made its way through the planet’s atmosphere, all he could do was pray that the billowing smoke would mask their exit from the Primary City, and that they would make it away unnoticed. Most of the attack force was situated close to the surface and was occupied with the raid, and a few Lucarn ships looked like they might be successful in escaping their pursuers, but they were obviously being flown by experienced pilots. Kiyl had only a vague idea of how to fly the ship manually, and he knew he wasn’t practiced enough to rely upon his own piloting skills to ensure that they got away. More than anything, he wished his father was there with them.

When they’d finally made it out of range of the majority of the chaos, Kiyl allowed himself to breathe. No one had followed them from the surface, and there was no indication of any other ships close by. The next thing was to get to their rendezvous on Crysolis… He knew he’d have to face their loss and tell Kit once they got there, but in the meantime, he simply couldn’t process it all. As he sat back in the pilot’s chair and the adrenaline began to fade into a dull ache, the ship lurched to the right.

‘Oh no…’ Kiyl thought to himself as his blood ran cold. Through the viewport, he saw a grappling hook piercing the hull of the ship, and they were now being towed backwards. In the emptiness of space, they saw another vessel appear and maneuver itself into docking position, preparing to board them. Their captors had been cloaked, and had apparently been monitoring the battle from space. They must have seen the small ship leaving.

Kit was so terrified that she started crying again. She knew this wasn’t a part of their regular drills, and in her fright she was calling out for her mother.

Swiveling his chair around, Kiyl took her small hands in his and spoke, trying to keep her from panicking, “It’s okay, Kit. Look at me… Look at me, Kit.” The cold fear swirling in his eyes and the quaking in his voice couldn’t be masked, but he would do the best he could for his baby sister, “You know what we have to do, right?”

Kit sniffed and nodded her head.

“That’s my brave girl.” He reached up and swept a stray hair from her eyes.

Both of their bodies glowed a pale blue for only a moment, and they shifted into human form just in time for their small vessel to be boarded.

“Kiyl!” Kit screamed as several humans barged in and grabbed the young man by his collar, dragging him roughly away.

“Kit!” he cried, still reaching out for her.

“KIYL!!!”

Kitania shot bolt upright in her bed, her cheeks stained with tears and her body soaked in sweat from the intense panic and terror. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and she shakily reached out in the darkness and felt the walls closest to her, frantically trying to determine where she was…

Sudden banging on her door made her jump, and she could hear a man’s voice on the other side, calling out to her, “Kit! Kit, are you alright?” Rian hated that she wouldn’t program in an access key for him, not even for emergencies.

Kit breathed out and held a trembling hand up to her aching head. Now she remembered: she wasn’t on her home world, in the midst of the greatest catastrophe the Lucarn people had ever experienced, she was on the Criostal Geal, and she was safe. The realization didn’t change the fact that her body was experiencing the physical, mental, and emotional trigger that pulled her unconscious mind back to her memories of that horrible day, and her nightmares were only getting worse.

“I’m fine… Sorry, Rian…” she replied breathlessly, dismissing the young man and attempting to keep her voice steady, “Go back to bed.”

Chapter Two

Ilia studied the Commander’s face with a look of concern on her own. Kit could see it in her amethyst eyes even over the dim light of the holo comm. “Are you sure you’re alright, My Lady?” she asked, wishing she could be there in person to support Kit’s transition into her new role as she’d initially promised.

“Yeah, I’ve just been having trouble sleeping lately, that’s all,” Kit said as she sat up straighter and tried to look more alert, but she knew Ilia was right. She wasn’t doing well.

“Let’s wrap up our call for today, shall we?” Ilia suggested, “You could probably use some rest, and I don’t mind if we pick it up again in a few days. You won’t last long if you don’t take care of yourself, you know.”

Both Rian and River were on the meeting with her. Lux had already left, having been updated on family matters, and he felt that the administrative tasks were best left to the others. River raised an eyebrow and inclined her head, giving Kit a look that said, ‘you should take her suggestion.’ Kit gave her a look back that said, ‘yeah, I know.’

“Before we disconnect, let me read my notes back to you, to make sure I got everything recorded correctly.” Kit lifted her handheld and rattled off her notes from the meeting, “Southern Hollows colony relocation to the temporary staging location complete. Resettlement in progress at new location, Tan Province canyon. All persons accounted for. Relief supplies en route from the Southwestern Hollows. Fall back emergency plan Zeta not implemented so far, but on standby. Documentation of attack on record, and in the central server.”

“Sounds like you’ve gotten it all, My Lady,” Ilia smiled at the nervous young woman, proud of the way Kitania handled her administrative duties. She was thorough, paid attention to detail, and genuinely cared for each member of the community just as much as she did for those who were taking the lead. “I should be able to update you on our progress, like I said, in a few days. Please, do take care of yourself, Kitania.”

“I’ll do my best, Ms. Ilia. Please give my love to the colonists, especially the children.”

“Of course, My Lady. Farewell.”

As soon as the light from the holo comm went out, Kit set her handheld down and slouched over one arm, laying her head on the table and breathing out slowly. She was exhausted, and she couldn’t help but feel responsible for the suffering of the colony. It didn’t matter how many times they all told her they didn’t feel that way, she knew that Dantor would never have found the town or the colony if it hadn’t been for her presence on Sollus.

“My Lady?” Rian reached over and tapped her arm.

“Uhhhhhh…” Kit responded, unmoving.

“Why don’t we go get something to eat? You should have dinner before you go to bed.”

For how weary she was, bed was the last place she wanted to be. Her sleep had been horrible ever since Willow had died, and with memories of her last day on Lucar coming back to her in her dreams it was a terrifying place to be.

Kit sighed and raised her head up. “Actually, I think I need to speak with the Captain about something.”

Rian frowned. He had been asking her to have dinner with him since before she took on her official role as Commander, but she still hadn’t taken him up on it. He was going to have to be much more forward if she was ever going to understand the kind of relationship that he wanted to pursue with her, and it irritated him no end that the human Captain got to spend so much time with her.

“Would you like an escort?” he asked, knowing she’d refuse. He was her official bodyguard, but she didn’t need that kind of protection on the ship.

“Thanks, but no.” Kit tucked her handheld up under her arm and headed for the Captain’s quarters. While she made her way there, she called him telepathically to let him know she was coming and ask if he had a minute to talk.

Malcolm smiled as he opened the door and let her in. “How did your meeting go? Is the colony doing alright?”

“Yeah,” she sighed and sat down, “They’re in the process of getting resettled, and more relief supplies are on the way, but it will probably take them some time to get everything up and running again at the new site. Ilia’s got her hands full, but she seems to know what she’s doing. I wanted to ask you about something, though.”

“Oh?”

“Do you remember when we first met, and you asked me why I hadn’t reported Dantor to the Central Government?”

“I do. I believe I was sitting here, and you were sitting right where you are now.” Malcolm remembered that day well, although she was a lot more comfortable with him now than she had been then. “Are you thinking of reporting him?”

“Well, the colony has documentation of the attack on the Hollows, they even have some imaging. The town has damages documented as well. Then there was the ad for mercenaries in the gazette, your injuries, plenty of witnesses, the detection devices, the Oxen Brand’s attack…” her voice faded as she tried to remember all the details.

He thought about expanding upon her list: ‘kidnapping, several types of assault, slave trading, attempted murder, actual murder.’ Looking down at her hands in her lap, Malcolm could see that she was slightly shaking, so he kept his list to himself. He crossed one leg over the opposite knee and held onto his ankle, trying to look casual and relaxed to hide the anger he felt whenever he thought about all that Dantor had done to her and to her people.

“...Willow…” Kit added quietly.

“I see what you mean,” he said gently. Malcolm could tell she was still having a hard time coping with Willow’s death, and it was obviously very difficult for her to even talk about it. He leaned forward and put a hand on her arm, just to reassure her that he was there with her, and to pull her attention back to the present. When her eyes raised to meet his, he continued, “If you’re going to represent your people to the CG, I do agree that these accusations should be, at the very least, put on record. Do you have a representative from the Lucarn people to handle this type of a legal matter?”

“That’s just it. I’m not sure that any of my people would feel comfortable going to the CG and bringing legal accusations, at least not on their own. They would have to reveal themselves as Lucarn, and without a guarantee that the Foreign Relations Office would consider seriously working with us, they’d be putting themselves into a very vulnerable position. I couldn’t ask any of them to do something like that without support of some kind… We’re not even recognized as a sovereign people,” Kit explained, “There was a proposal brought before the CG years ago by a human who advocated for my people, that petitioned for legal recognition, but since Mr. Wellington passed away, it hasn’t been pursued. The proposal was named after him.”

Malcolm crossed his arms over his chest and rubbed his chin as he thought about that. “Sounds like bringing it back to the table might be the first thing you could do.”

“My thoughts, exactly,” she agreed, “Salayah mentioned before the possibility of having a human representative, maybe working along with a Lucarn representative, as a sort of joint liaison to the CG. I don’t know if I could personally handle all of the legal business and interaction, since my position is primarily administrative, but I could really use some help… Do you think you could mention it to the others?”

“Sure. I’ll see what they have to say.”

“Thank you, Malcolm.” Kit breathed out, relieved. It seemed like a lot to ask, but it also seemed very necessary from her standpoint. There was no way that her people could continue on the way they had been: colonies scattered throughout much of the mid-reaches and the outer worlds, with no representation to mediate their interactions with the humans occupying every habitable planet, moon, satellite, and station from the core worlds to the far galaxy.

And the Central Government had outlawed slavery… What good was that if slavers were never reported? Kit felt like she owed it to her people, and besides, she was going to have to use every tool at her disposal to keep them safe, regardless of how uncomfortable it made her feel. She had others to think of first.

Malcolm could see that the young woman was calming down, comforted by his reassurance that the crew would help out in any way they could, but he was still concerned. She wasn’t anywhere near fully recovered from their last encounter with Dantor, and even though she was a very hard worker and good at what she did, she didn’t take care of herself as well as she should.

Knowing the answer he’d get, he looked down at her and asked, “Have you eaten anything today, Kit?”

“I had breakfast,” she answered sheepishly, looking off to the side and avoiding his eyes.

“Yeah, coffee doesn’t count,” he said, shaking his head, “You need something more substantial than that. Let’s go get you something.”

“Thanks, but maybe I’ll just grab something easy from the galley on the way back to my quarters and eat there…” Kit said, quickly standing up.

“Alone?” Malcolm frowned. Since their unexpected exodus from Sollus, he’d noticed how withdrawn Kit had become. She was alert and animated when she had some task to perform, but when it came time to relax and recover from the stress of it all, she would lock herself in her room for hours at a time. It was as if she wore a mask when dealing with her people, and even when interacting with the crew, hoping no one would see through the exterior smile and discover the truth. The Captain was the only one she allowed a glimpse into her true feelings, and even then, he could feel the barrier slamming down in between them and the mask being put back in place. “Is everything alright?”

Wanting to end the conversation (and avoid the concern he’d no doubt express if she let on just how overwhelmed she really felt), Kit put on a thin smile. “Yeah, it’s fine, I just… I promised Ilia that I’d get some rest, and I should, you know… do that…”

“Alright,” he conceded. He could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, so he decided not to push and let it go. “I hope you can get some better sleep tonight, though.”

“My sleep?” she echoed, both of her eyebrows hooking low on her forehead as she looked back at him. How did he know she wasn’t sleeping well? She hadn’t said anything, and his cabin wasn’t near enough to hers to have heard her calling out in the middle of a nightmare.

“Yes. River told me that you’ve been waking up agitated overnight.” Malcolm could see the exhaustion in her eyes, in the slump of her shoulders as she stood up to go. He didn’t need River to tell him anything; he had felt it the last few nights. Whenever Kit woke up in a panic, she had been instinctively reaching out to his mind without realizing it. She’d been waking him up, too.

“Oh, yeah. That,” Kit acknowledged, feeling the disquiet in her chest. She knew she couldn’t deny it, though, so she quickly pressed on, “I guess I’ll just try to… destress before bed.”

“You know if you need anything, I’m here, Kitania.” Malcolm gave her a smile, offering her reassurance without pressuring her to take advantage of it.

Kit couldn’t help but smile back at the man. She loved the way the left corner of his lips raised just a bit higher than on the right. “Thank you, Malcolm. I’ll keep that in mind.” Hesitating for only a moment more, she gathered herself and left. “Goodnight, then.”

Once the door was shut behind her, Kit sighed quietly to herself. She knew how sincere Malcolm was. He meant it when he offered his support, and she knew how easy it would be for her to accept it and lean on him through this entire ordeal. But she also knew that it wasn’t fair to dump her emotional stress on him.

She was already asking so much of him and, although he seemed more than happy to give what was needed, she still felt guilty relying so heavily on him. It wasn’t his responsibility to feed, shelter, and protect her (or her people), and she found herself again feeling like a burden. Kit wished she could turn around, sit back down, and just talk with him.

Instead, she turned down the corridor and made her way to her own quarters.

Chapter Three

“Knock, knock,” Rian’s voice came from the hallway, “May I come in?”

Kit leaned over and tapped the control panel, unlocking and opening the door. Sitting cross-legged on her bed with a salami sandwich, she replied, “Sure. What’s up?”

Rian closed the door and sat down in a chair beside her bed. “I noticed you were eating alone again. Thought I’d keep you company.”

“Where’s River?”

“Oh, she’s still pouring over your notes from Willow’s book,” he relaxed back, as if he was settling in for a while, “We both remember leaving Lucar, but we never had to make our way back in through the nebula to return. It’s fascinating that the ‘directions’ we have are an old Lucarn lullaby.”

“Yeah, I’m still not exactly sure what that means,” Kit said, after swallowing down a mouthful, “But once we’ve charted our course, we should keep the navi data to send to the others. They’ll need to be able to navigate through the nebula if we’re to have any hope of reestablishing Lucar with a population.”

“Yeah, about that,” Rian leaned forward planting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands, getting closer to Kit, “So, the House Guard is traditionally close to the Command House, and I suppose we’ll be rebuilding that way when we get back…”

“Makes sense.” Kit took another bite of her sandwich. She was curious where he was going with this. There was obviously something he wanted to say, but it seemed he wanted to take the long way around in saying it.

“Well…” he hesitated, just for a moment, “I guess that means that I’ll be close to you, Kit. You know, when we get things going again.”

“I should hope so. You are the Head Bodyguard.”

“Okay, but what I mean is that, you know…” Now that he was talking about this with her, Rian started getting nervous. True, he liked her, but he still didn’t know how she felt about him, “...we’ll be spending a lot of time together. I was kind of hoping that a little bit of that time could be off duty. Maybe getting better acquainted. That’s all.”

The muscles between Kit’s shoulders tensed up, and she had to make a conscious effort to keep her discomfort from showing in her expression. She really didn’t want to go down this road, at least not right now.

“I don’t know, Rian. I kind of feel like there’s no such thing as ‘off duty’,” she replied, concentrating her gaze on her meal instead of raising her eyes to meet his; it was an honest enough answer, and she hoped he’d take the hint and drop the subject. “We’re still dealing with the threat of Dantor, the relocation of a devastated colony, and setting up an administrative center on our long lost home world in the heart of a nebula, through which our only directions are a holo imager map and the lyrics of a Lucarn lullaby… among other things…”

“Yeah, I know.” Rian looked down at the floor and thought to himself, ‘Maybe she’s right. Maybe this isn’t the time.’ When he looked back up, he noticed that Kit had stopped eating, and he could tell that she was preoccupied. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing...” Kit put her sandwich down and wrapped it back up, deciding that she was finished for the night. “I was just thinking about Willow. We haven’t even had a chance to lay her to rest properly.”

Rian thought about that for a moment and felt the sharp sting of guilt. He hadn’t considered that her mentor still hadn’t been buried. Of course that would be the first thing Kit would want to take care of once they made it to Lucar, and he kicked himself for overlooking such a thing.

“You’re right, Kit. I- I’m sorry…” he stuttered in his embarrassment.

“Well, from what I understand, we should be entering the nebula sometime tomorrow,” Kit decided to change the subject. He was obviously flustered, and she didn’t want to dwell on the awkwardness. “I’m not sure at what point the lyrics will become relevant, but maybe once we arrive, next steps will become clear. There’s only one direction we’d be approaching from, so I’m hopeful that it will make sense as we begin to pass through the nebula.”

Kit was looking forward to seeing the constellations as they appeared from the surface of her home world. The colors of the night sky varied with the seasons, due to the planet’s orbit and the nebula’s inconsistent density. During the warmer months, the sky appeared a soft coral pink, but in the wintertime, it tended toward a violet color. It was enchanting, and she missed it.

“Have you ever seen the Lucent Nebula from out here?” she asked, “In person, I mean. I…” Kit’s eyes unfocused and her voice trailed off. She hadn’t seen anything when she left Lucar. She and her brother had been forced into containment cells as they were taken away. She hadn’t meant to think about that, so she tried to push the thought from her mind.

When she paused, Rian realized that she was struggling with something, probably a memory. “Hey… You okay?”

Kit looked up and nodded stiffly, “Yeah, sorry.”

Rian decided to answer her question, hoping that it would distract her. “Yes, actually. River and I were able to make it off world with our mother. As we left the denser portion of the nebula we got a pretty good look at it behind the ship. It’s beautiful…” For a moment, he thought about their escape. His father had died in the firestorm along with much of the Guard, but before he went to the defense of the Lady Reyna he made sure his family was safely away from the fighting.

Kit could tell he had his own memories of that day. “I think it’s going to be difficult for all of us, at least at first.” She looked down at her hands in her lap. She had no idea how she would react to being back for the first time, and she was sure that it would affect them all. “Let’s just deal with it when we come to it.”

“What about your nightmares? It sounds like you’re dealing with it now.” Rian wasn’t sure if it was too personal of a remark, but he’d noticed her calling out for her brother and her parents during several of her late night episodes.

Kit felt that it was too personal of a subject, and it made her feel uncomfortable. “You’re still not getting an access key,” she grumbled. He was allowed to be concerned, but she didn’t want to talk about it. Her sleep was her own business. “Maybe we should go check on River and see what she’s come up with before we turn in for the night?”

The flatness in her tone told Rian that her suggestion wasn’t really a suggestion, so he stood up. “Right. I guess three heads are better than one.”

“Four heads,” she corrected him, “I think Lux might be able to help out here. I have some ideas, but I want to run them past you all, get your feedback.” With that, Kit got up and made her way into the corridor and headed for the common room, with Rian following behind.

River looked up from her notes and her shoulders slouched as she frowned. She was none too pleased with Kit’s apparent lack of follow through on her promise to rest. “I thought you were going to lay down, My Lady?”

“I know, River. I’m sorry,” Kit apologized and sat down across from her. “I just had an idea and I wanted to see what you may have come up with in your research. Is anything standing out to you?”

River sighed and sat back, laying her handheld down on the table. “Not really,” she complained, “I keep going over these lyrics and I just don’t see how they could possibly relate to directions toward anything.” She tried to keep her tone neutral to hide how frustrated she’d gotten, staring at a display with words that had no logical order to them. If Willow was trying to be cryptic, she’d certainly succeeded. “I’ve tried looking for sequences or ciphers, tried transposing letters or numbers… Whatever it is we’re looking for, it’s probably not mathematical in nature or this would make more sense.” River had always been good with codes and numbers, but this wasn’t adding up at all, and she had no idea what direction to tackle this from.

“Sorry, River. Maybe we should ask the crew if they have any ideas?” Kit suggested, knowing that her fellow Lucarn wouldn’t go for it, but at some point they were going to have to figure something out or their home world might remain lost indefinitely. Neither of them answered her so she took it as a no.

Kit wondered why Willow’s message hadn’t been clearer, but all she could figure was that it was purposefully obscured in some way to prevent others from finding their way to Lucar, or it was somehow obvious and they just couldn’t see it. ‘But the humans did find Lucar, long ago,’ she thought with a chill. Even though she trusted her crew with her life, she knew that not everyone out there would protect and respect her people. At least for now, the way needed to be open to the Lucarn only.

“You said you had an idea?” Rian said, interrupting her thought process, “Something about Lux?”

“Actually, I was thinking of his father. I heard that Vik is a good pilot, and he was able to get himself, Lux, and Gin out of the nebula when Lucar was attacked. Maybe he knows what we should be looking for,” Kit reasoned, “Even if it’s not the full picture, it could give us a starting point.”

“Hmmm… I hadn’t thought of that. Most of the Lucarn are from the younger generation, and either left Lucar as children, or were born outside of the nebula. I’ll ask him if he doesn’t mind joining us for a bit.” Rian communicated silently with Lux, and within a few minutes, he had made his way to the common room.

“I’m sorry, Lux,” Kit apologized, “I hope Rian didn’t wake you.”

“No, Kit, it’s alright,” Lux replied, waving a hand to calm her worry. He was always so polite, but Kit knew he was taking Willow’s death rather hard, too, and he had been needing extra rest. “What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind asking your father about making our way through the nebula,” she explained, “We have the holo imager that maps out most of our approach, but the clues as to how to get through the last stage are still very vague. This lullaby isn’t making much sense to any of us. Vik has flown through it before, though, so I thought he might be able to point us in the right direction.”

“Oh, yeah. I can message him real quick. Maybe get him on the comm,” Lux yawned.

Kit felt bad about waking the young man up. Just because she couldn’t sleep didn’t mean she needed to keep everyone else awake. “Thanks, Lux. Then I’ll be sure and get out of your hair.”

“It’s alright, Kit. He usually gets back to me pretty fast. He was really worried after the attack on Sollus.”

Kit could only imagine how he felt. Vik had already survived one attack, and had lost his wife and daughter. True to Lux’s expectations, he did respond within minutes.

“What did he say?” River curiously moved closer to the others, “Is it a cipher?”

Lux’s brow scrunched as he looked at his handheld. He didn’t know what to make of his father’s message. “He says he’s not sure what exactly we’re looking at, but according to his recollection it’s the words themselves you have to pay attention to. There isn’t anything to decode. He’s entered the nebula a couple of times, but that was a long time ago, and he said he vaguely remembers looking for landmarks in the cloud.”

“Landmarks?” Rian crossed his arms, “How the heck are we supposed to find landmarks in a cloud?”

That gave Kit an idea. “Did he say anything else?”

“That’s it. Sorry it wasn’t much help.”

“No, I think it was a lot of help.” Kit got up and started pacing, pondering the lullaby’s lyrics. “Maybe we’re looking for the actual words somehow in the cloud…?” Everyone listened as she softly sang to herself:

The stars aloft

The treetops sway

The sun sinks low

Another day

has passed and you’re 

my sleepy babe

So listen to my mind

Listen to my mind

Tho clouds may form

Your heart may grieve

Your home may die

You’ll be bereaved

You’ll be alone

but never leave

a mother’s love behind

Your mother’s love behind

No one said anything while Kit thought. They hadn’t heard her sing since her time in the Hollows and, while it was more out of necessity than pleasure, they did enjoy hearing her voice.

After Kit had paced for a little while, she stopped. “Well, I think I have an idea, but we won’t know until we get there. There’s no way of confirming it from out here.” She turned to Lux, “Again, I’m sorry for waking you, but I think that was really helpful. Please give Vik my thanks.”

“No problem. But let’s save the thanks for after we make it through the nebula,” Lux said over his shoulder, heading back to bed.

“What do you think it means, Kit?” River asked.

“I have a feeling we’re going to have to be very literal. And I have an idea of how we might be able to confirm as we go along…” Kit answered vaguely, still deep in thought.

“Okay, well…” River could tell she was very distracted, but she also needed Kit to be alert when they did make their run through. “Perhaps you should go lay down,” she reiterated, “We can find out tomorrow.”

“Hmmm?” Kit looked up, “Oh, yeah. Goodnight then.”

“Try to rest well, My Lady.”

“Yeah, you too.”

With all of these thoughts swirling around in her head, Kit made her way back to her quarters and tried to take River’s advice. Although it took a few hours, she finally managed to fall asleep.

Chapter Four

The next day the Criostal Geal entered the outer portion of the small nebula and began steadily traveling toward the center. The material was so diffuse that they had no trouble getting through the gasses, but as they moved to the interior, they could see an accretion cloud of fairly regular shape, like a small sphere in the heart of the nebula. It had probably formed from an impact aeons ago, and had settled into a tight formation around a massive heavenly body.

Looking at it from this distance they realized that what they needed to map their way through wasn’t technically a nebula at all. It was a relatively small patch of space which was littered with interstellar gasses grouped together, denser in some areas than others, along with an unusually large amount of crystalline debris that reflected and refracted the light from all directions, including the red star at its heart.

For hours it had been steadily growing in size, but now they were on the cusp, ready to enter. Hopefully they were entering from the right direction.

“Sorry it’s so crowded in here, Captain,” Kit apologized. It was kind of Malcolm to let her fellow Lucarn take a place on the bridge and witness their journey through the cloud. Now all she had to do was somehow make it happen.

“You said you had an idea of how to confirm our position, Kit?” Rian spoke up, recalling their discussion from the night before.

“Yes… Well, Captain, I have no way to verify our starting position with either the holo imager or the lullaby, at least I don’t think so. But I don’t think we need to.”

“How do you mean?” Malcolm asked. He was curious, too, and wondered how all this would go.

Kit turned her attention to the first mate’s station, “Ian, is there a way to scan the portion of the cloud that’s closest to us for communications relays?”

“Sure,” he replied, then looked over his shoulder, waiting for confirmation, “Captain?”

“So long as we’re going through this portion of space, Ian, we can drop formalities,” Malcolm replied, nodding to his cousin. He appreciated his support of the chain of command on the ship, but it wasn’t strictly necessary. “If Kit requests it, and I don’t countermand it, go ahead.”

“Yes, I can scan,” Ian said, turning back to his console, “It might take a minute.”

Malcolm could guess what her idea was. If there was a planet inside the cloud that had regular communication with outside colonies, they would need a series of comm relays within a stable corridor to get messages into, and out of, the cloud reliably. ‘Clever,’ he thought, and smiled to himself.

After a minute, Ian said, “I think I have something, but we’ll need to move closer in to confirm.”

Salayah moved the ship to the coordinates Ian indicated and they could all see that they had, indeed, found a comm relay. “It’s old,” she said, “but it still looks to be in working order.”

“Good,” Kit sighed in relief. She had been afraid that the relays might have been destroyed either from the ships that had attacked or from long term disuse and lack of maintenance.

Moving forward as close to the viewport as she could, Kit stared into the cloud. From the outside, the colors seemed a bit dimmer than she expected, but she was reviewing the lyrics and scanning for anything that might stand out. “The stars aloft, the treetops sway…” she softly sang to herself. “There,” she pointed to a slightly darker spot, “Do you see how that spot is a little denser? Over there.”

Malcolm stood up and approached the viewport, stopping just behind her and squinting, “It looks like…”

“A tree?” River said, staring out as well, then chuckled softly at her Commander. “Way to go, Kit! We’re looking for shapes in the cloud.” There were plenty of spots in the cloud that you could gaze at and imagine different objects, just like you could when gazing at the sky on a partly cloudy day, but they knew which shapes to look for, and that gave them a heading.

Kit looked back at Ian, “As we go through, keep scanning for comm relays. If we’re going the right way, they should be along our path. And record the navi data, too, if you aren’t already.”

“Sure thing, Kit,” Ian replied with a small smile. It was an ingenious way to map out their approach.

“The sun sinks low, another day…” Kit continued, “The sun would be our star. Once we reach the relay, turn us towards the brightest spot, Layah.” Sure enough, they found another relay. “Has passed and you’re my sleepy babe, so listen to my mind…”

This one was harder to find, and it took her a good few minutes. Uncertain, she asked, “There, I’m not sure… does that look like a swaddled babe?”

“I don’t know, Kit. It could be?” Malcolm shrugged, squinting and straining his eyes, “Keep scanning for relays, Ian.”

“Yeah, there’s one in that direction,” Ian answered.

“Tho clouds may form, your heart may grieve…” Kit sang.

“A heart. Right there, in the center…” Rian chimed in, pointing and moving closer to the viewport. He couldn’t believe how simple the solution was.

“Your home may die, you’ll be bereaved…” Kit stopped there. “Once we hit the relay, make sure we’re centered on home, the middle of the heart, and stop, Layah.”

“Got it,” Salayah answered. Soon they were in position. “Now what?”

“You’ll be alone but never leave a mother’s love behind…” Kit sang and slowly paced, then turned again towards the viewport. “Can we have the view from the rear of the ship up on the display, to the side of our current view?”

Ian put both up and everyone stopped for just a moment. In the front viewport and in the back, the shape was echoed, as if they were in the middle of a long corridor framed on either end by the shape of a heart. As they moved forward they could see the accretion cloud thin and then completely open up. Directly ahead was one last comm relay and, in the center of the open space, their red star with its system of planets.

Kit gasped softly, and her heart caught in her throat. She couldn’t believe her eyes. After almost seventy years, she was looking at her home, Lucar.

The interior of the cloud was so beautiful that the crew and their passengers all just stared at the viewport, taking in the light and luminance. The giant Red Star system had four planets, the second of which was Lucar, the others uninhabited, and it was suspended in a clear, egg-shaped pocket enveloped by the gasses and debris of the accretion cloud.

A tear silently rolled down Kitania’s cheek, and Malcolm put his arm around her shoulder. “You found it, Kit. You found your home. Willow would be so proud of you.”

Kit looked up at him and quietly replied, “At least we got to bring her home.” Drying her cheek, she turned to Lux, “What do you think? You’ve never seen it.” Lux had been an infant, as had his twin brother Gin, when Vik escaped with them. He wouldn’t remember anything of their star system and home world as the youngest among them.

Lux had been standing quietly behind the captain’s chair up until then. “Papa told Gin and me a thousand times what it looked like, but I never imagined it would be so beautiful.” Blinking and turning his attention from the viewport to Kit, he hesitated, “I’m sorry to interrupt the moment, but do you think we could test the relays before we move any further in? Just to make sure they’re all operational…”

Kit could tell that he wanted to call his father. He was the only one of them with family, and he no doubt wanted to reach out and let them know he was okay. “Of course, Lux. I owe your father my thanks as well.”

To Kit’s surprise, it took only a few moments to connect their comms to the relays, which were thankfully all in working order. Once they had verified that the connection was stable, Lux sent a message out to his father, and Vik was up on the holo comm within a few minutes.

“Hey, papa,” the young man smiled, almost in tears.

“Hey, Lux. Sounds like you all made your way through okay. What do you think?” Vik seemed proud, but he also sounded like he missed his son.

“It’s amazing. I can’t believe we’re really here. The Lady Kitania wanted to extend her thanks to you as well,” he gestured to Kit, who had respectfully stayed out of view so that he could have a moment with his father.

“Hello, Vik,” Kit moved into view and gestured the open heart greeting customary amongst the Lucarn, “I have to say, your hint last night about looking for landmarks really made the difference for us. I can’t tell you how grateful we are for your assistance.”

Vik smiled warmly at Kit, “I knew you all could figure it out, My Lady. Is there anything else you need?”

Kit smiled back. Lux got his extreme politeness from his father. She liked their family, and missed spending time with them all together. “Nah, you’re in the middle of a relocation, I don’t want to bother you. The first thing we were thinking was to get supply lines set up for Lucar, assuming it’s where central command is set up. I just thought that if you were to join one of those supply ships you could spend some time with Lux, and see the planet again.”

“Very good, My Lady,” he inclined his head in a small bow, “I’ll mention it to Ilia and see what she has to say about it.”

“Thanks again. I’ll let you get back to your son, now.” Kit moved away and rejoined the others at the viewport. They were slowly but steadily making their way to the planet and before they knew it, they were almost ready to land.

“Well, the holo imager has a full schematic of the Primary City, and the whole planet for that matter.” Kit looked at the others. River and Rian were ready to go, and Lux had finished his call with his father and was now paying attention to their conversation. “I was thinking we could make our way down to the primary landing and assess the damage from there, unless anyone else has another idea?”

Secretly, she hoped that someone did have another idea. It made sense from a leadership and repopulation standpoint to go to the capital, assess the situation, and work their way out from there, but she was afraid of how she might react to being back in her old home. She also suspected River and Rian might feel that way too about the Guard House.

“No objections, My Lady,” River shook her head and replied, standing tall with one hand clasping her other wrist behind her back to hide her nervousness as well. She remembered the day they had fled. She hadn’t been much older than Kit when it happened.

“Alright, Salayah…” Kit stayed in front of the viewport. If they were going to choose a place to set the Geal down, they were going to have to determine structural integrity, damage to supporting limbs and buildings, and potential risks beforehand. “Keep on this side of the mountains.” Kit was surprised just how much the flora had recovered. Sure, it had been seventy years, but she had thought there would be a lot more damage.

The capital city was built upon three massive trees that grew tall along the western side of the mountain range, nestled up against a cliff face that formed a half circle. Several waterfalls graced the side, crystal clear and sparkling. The curtains of aqua blue and misty green flowed down exactly as she remembered it. Apparently the mountainside hadn’t been hit much at all, just the city. The shimmering falls brought an enchanting ambience to her home, especially during the long summer sunsets, and they provided the city with its water supply.

The gigantic trees that supported the city were still there, and flourishing, despite the fact that they could see the scars in their bark and the broken limbs from that battle so long ago. From the air the damage looked minimal, but Kit didn’t want to take any chances. The Geal went for the central pad on the Highest Landing, which looked to still be mostly intact, and touched down.

“Hey, are you coming?” Rian asked, beckoning Kit toward the door. He wanted her to join him in exploring and looking around, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go out there with the others or if she wanted to be alone.

“I’ll be out in a minute, Rian, thank you. And please be careful. There’s a lot of damage and I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” Kit clutched her arms tightly around her stomach, to hide the way her hands were shaking.

Rian exited the ship with his sister and Lux, although River insisted on not going far from the ship without one of them at least staying with Kit. It was still their job to protect her, and they had to focus on that, even when something else threatened to distract them.

Malcolm turned his chair to face the nervous young woman. She had sat down once the others left, and he had noticed how quiet she’d gotten. “Will you be okay, Kit?”

“Yeah… I’m just not sure exactly how I feel,” she sighed, “And I’m still not sure what to do with you all.” It had been decided that, at least at first, the humans would stay on the ship and give the Lucarn a chance to look around amongst their own. It was their world, after all, and Kit felt that they should respect that, but she also wanted to have a place for the humans to feel free, she just hadn’t figured it all out yet.

The entire crew was on the bridge now, patiently waiting to see how things would go, and they were okay respectfully staying behind.

“Don’t worry about us for now,” Malcolm said, “You and your people have a lot to take in, and we don’t want to keep you from that. Just be careful, and call me if you need anything.”

Kit knew that Malcolm wanted to stay by her side, but his humility and courtesy made the interaction between their two peoples much easier for her to manage, and for that she was grateful. She really appreciated how he stepped aside even when he didn’t want to, just to make sure that she and the others were comfortable.

“That’s very kind of you.” Kit stood up, finally ready to join the others. “Thank you.” She looked at all of them in turn, and slowly made her way outside.

Chapter Five

As soon as Kit stepped off of the ship, she paused and took a deep breath. She remembered this, even though it had been so long ago… The smell of the trees combined with the mist from the falls, the feel of the platforms built across the gigantic limbs, the solid gravity of the planet, and the soft peach and lavender tint of the early summer sky. Sollus had felt much the same because of its similar makeup, but this was the real thing.

Kit never expected to be standing on her home world again, let alone bringing humans back with her. While a mild northern breeze rustled her hair, she closed her eyes and let her white, wavy tresses fall across her face as she focused on the melody of distant bird song.

“Hey,” Rian spoke, standing behind and off to the side of her, leaning against the ship with his arms crossed. His greeting startled her, and he realized she hadn’t seen him there when she had exited the ship. “Oh, sorry, Kit. Wow, you must really be distracted.”

“Have you been there this whole time?” she asked. Since they had landed so close to the Guard House, she thought that River and Rian would be off inspecting the remnants of their old home.

“Nah, I was with River for a while,” he straightened up and walked towards Kit, pointing to a section of the landing that was mostly intact, but had been badly burned during the attack, “Our quarters were over there, a part of the Guard House near the center. That’s where the Guard’s elite were housed and trained. I remember my father sparring with his brothers, then spending the evenings with us. Mother was the only one out of them all that had any talent when it came to cooking. There’s not much left now, but I wasn’t expecting anything.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure there will be much to find,” she shook her head, brushing her windswept hair from her eyes. She could feel his sorrow, his sense of loss, along with a nostalgia and warm feeling of familiarity that one can only ever experience when returning home after so long away. “Is River still there?”

“She’s actually gone down a few landings.”

“What?” Kit asked, immediately concerned, “I hope she’s being careful. The landings haven’t been inspected or shored up yet and I don’t want her getting hurt.”

Without waiting for the young man to reply, she sent a quick telepathic message to River, ‘Rian said you’re a few landings down. What are you doing?’ She tried not to sound overly anxious, but found it impossible to keep it from her mental communication.

‘Don’t worry, Lux is down here with me,’ River answered, ‘The Guard House has a passageway built within the bough to the armory, and I wanted to take stock of any equipment that might have survived the attack. It takes up space on the Second and Third Landings, so most of it didn’t get hit at all, and there’s actually quite a bit down here…’

‘Alright, but please be careful. I don’t want either of you getting hurt,’ Kit replied, then looked up at Rian. She had been sharing their silent conversation with him, ‘If you need anything, call us and we’ll make our way down to you.’

Rian smiled at Kit, amused. “You and River are more alike than I ever would have thought when we first met.”

“I hope that whatever she finds down there is worth it. Even from just this view, I have no idea where we would begin with rebuilding work on the city…”

To Kit the task seemed overwhelming. There were parts of the city that looked to have survived without too much damage, but regular maintenance was needed at the very least, and the Command House was broken into pieces below them. It would take time and safety gear they didn’t have to get down to it.

“Well, one thing I have to say about Lucarn engineering…” Rian moved closer to the edge of the platform and peered over the side, “Building the landings from metal instead of wood has kept much of the city together. The only reason parts of it were busted up so badly was because of impact damage, and from what I can tell it’s mostly the top two tiers. Those slavers must have targeted admin and defense so there would be less resistance.” She could hear a tinge of anger in his voice, and she felt it too, but he was hovering way too close to a dangerous fall, and she couldn’t focus on anything else.

Kit reached out and pulled him away from the edge, “You’re making me nervous.”

“Alright, Kit.” Rian stepped back and looked down at her, noting that she hadn’t moved since she’d left the ship. There had to be somewhere she wanted to go, but she didn’t seem to be moving any time soon. “Where’s your home?” he asked.

Kit hesitated, turning the pendant on her necklace in her hand. She knew where it was, but she’d been procrastinating because she didn’t want to see it again. All she could think of was holding onto her brother as their father left to look for their mother, and neither of them coming back. “Um, it’s this way…”

Slowly, she turned and the pair made their way down a small staircase from the landing pad, moving towards the residential area. Her home was close to the southern edge of the Highest Landing, and it was hard to get to. There were a few places where the impacts of heavy bombardment had broken through the landing completely and she could see straight down to the next, but they made their way through the city as carefully as they possibly could.

When they finally reached her home, Kit paused and looked around, and her breath caught in her chest. The entrance was still there, but it was covered in soot from the fires, and she stood there frozen for a few moments staring up at the door, struggling with the memories that flashed through her mind.

“Let’s go inside. Together,” Rian suggested, speaking softly beside her, “You’re not alone for this, Kit.”

Taking a deep breath and holding it in, she slid the door to the right. From the entrance they could see the small welcoming area that opened immediately to the kitchen. Letting out her breath, she stepped inside. It looked almost as she remembered it, and she was astonished that there wasn’t more damage. ‘I guess this section didn’t get hit,’ she thought.

Out beyond the kitchen and main living area, where the part of their home was open to the sky, they could only go a few steps. Although there were rooms in the back where her family could sleep indoors, they preferred to sleep under the stars. There used to be platform beds for all of them, but the majority of this section had been blasted to pieces, almost as if the invading forces had aimed for it specifically.

Rian stepped up behind her and kept a firm hold on her arm. The landing was weaker here than anywhere else he’d been so far, and he didn’t want to risk something shifting unexpectedly and taking the Lady with it. Noticing her shaking getting worse, he asked, “Do you want to go back?”

“No… I need to work through this,” Kit’s voice trembled as she fought back her tears. In her head she could hear her mother calling out, and she recalled looking over her father’s shoulders as he fled with her, and watching parts of the city fall. She needed to do this walk at least once, and get the images out of her head. “We’ll have to be careful,” she said, holding onto Rian’s arm as he supported her, “Most of this section is badly damaged.”

As they worked their way around, there were a few places she wasn’t sure they would be able to get across without risking injury, and she almost turned back several times simply because of that. After taking a few minutes and moving slowly and deliberately, however, she found herself at the small residential landing pad where she and her brother had left the city, all those years ago.

It wasn’t large enough for anything like the Geal to land on, and it probably wasn’t structurally sound enough to even try, considering how much of the surrounding platform had been damaged. It would hold a small ship, one just big enough for her family to fit into, along with emergency supplies that would last them a few weeks. Prior to their capture, Kit had never been outside of the accretion cloud, and when she and Kiyl had been dragged away, she had no view outside of Jaxon’s ship. Perhaps that was why she had no frame of reference for their journey through the nebula.

Standing there now, Kit was transported back in time to her younger self, experiencing the disaster anew. She could smell the smoke, could feel the ground shaking beneath her feet with the impacts of the cannon fire, hear the cries of anguish and terror from her neighbors and her family, could taste the salt of her tears. Reaching up, her fingertips brushed her cheek and she realized that her face actually was wet with tears. Her flashback had triggered a real somatic response, and her heart thumped loudly in her ears.

Lost in the memory, Kit bent down and picked up a small blue doll. She couldn’t believe it was still there, after all this time. “This is where I last saw papa,” she said, her shaky voice sounding childish, and no more than a whisper, “He ran back to the house to get mama… and…” Kit couldn’t finish. Still crouched down and clutching the doll tightly to her chest, she let it flow—the tears, the pain, the fear… and silently wept her sorrow.

Rian knelt down and put his arms around her as her shoulders shook and she cried. He felt it too. They all had something to grieve, and they knew that this was going to be the hardest part of their return. Kit was right. They needed to feel it, to work through it.

Once she had exhausted her emotional reserves, Kit pulled away from Rian and stood up, intent on composing herself. She appreciated his attempts at comforting her, but she didn’t want to linger there. “We should head back,” she breathed out and wiped her face, “I want to see if we can make our way to the Cemetery of the Guard. I believe Willow deserves an honored place there.”

“I agree.” Rian could tell she had several things weighing on her heart simultaneously and, although he wished she’d allow him to comfort her, he realized that she had to take care of her mentor before she could focus on anything else. “If anyone has earned that privilege, it’s Willow. She gave us more than we ever thought possible… She gave us you.”

Kit’s eyes dropped down, unable to hold his gaze, and she turned away from the young man. She was still uncomfortable with her position as Commander, and she felt she could never live up to what they all expected of her. She wished more than anything that another of the Grey clan had survived, someone more experienced, more competent, more capable. Willow had expressed confidence in her, but she couldn’t understand why. Kit would have gladly traded her own life for her mentor’s, but the old woman wouldn’t have it.

“I’ll let Malcolm know that we’re on our way back to the ship,” she pressed on, “I’m sure the crew can help with her arrangements.”

Rian sighed beside her softly, trying to keep his irritation to himself. He still didn’t want humans on Lucar, but he knew that Kit felt differently, so he simply said, “Okay. We’ll get her taken care of before the sun goes down.”

As they slowly made their way back to the Geal, Kit glanced back at her home. She could feel a heaviness, a sadness that had weighed on her chest for decades, lighten just a little. As painful as it was, she finally had some closure.

‘Goodbye, mama… Goodbye, papa…’

—

Other books by Elle Rushing

NATIVE OF NOWHERE

Translucent Traveler

Shattered Crystal

Dispersion of Light